There are dry spells in life and then there are the deserts. Dessert-less deserts! The arduous, despicable and unrelenting periods of Grey, Gray and
Gris!
I*know* there are millions of gorgeous,
fledgling NYC hearts relenting to the icy solitude, walking the plank of profile writing and jumping into the unknown seas of i
nternet dating. I remind myself, Winter (yes, with a capital double-V) is not the most congenial time for
encountering romantic prospects. With everyone wearing head to toe coats and schlepping our daily commute survival gear the city has the appearance of a campsite turned caravan.
All of us handsome singles buried in
down feathers, nylon and earmuffs. I admit, even my friends poke fun at the oh-so-sultry sleeping bag ensemble I refuse to leave home without. On the platform, I am merely a couple of icy eyeballs and two boot tips- the rest, a puffy, water-resistant marshmallow.
Sooo attractive in my Michelin Man garb as I hit the subway catwalk. I can count at least 5 snowfalls since a less than lurid stranger outright flirted with me. In my old neighborhood, I could be wearing a mu-mu and turtleneck and
still SOMEONE would ask me how many babies I'd like to have. At least that was something to off-set the chopped-liver syndrome barking at my door.
I never thought I'd find any kind of redemption in the flirtations of a phone technician, but I must confess my broken office phone did wonders for my jilted ego this past Tuesday. Post-valentine's darkness layered on to the problematic fax line that had been always a thorn in my side. That annoyance, however, lost it's bite as it yielded the rose
called Kevin the
Verizon guy, come to prune away all my self-doubt and validation angst (at least momentarily).
As it turned out, he needed to be in my office all day long.
Every time he would go out, he would
politely let me know that he would be back and ask me entreatingly if there was anything that I needed. "Can I get you
somethin' Miss? A hot tea?
Somethin' sweet? Some Flow-
ahs?(followed by a big grin) Are you
shu-ah?" As the day went on, he started to open up about his life telling me how he lived at the Jersey Shore and making all kinds of references to some reality show I'd never heard of. Who is
Snookie anyway? He couldn't believe I didn't at least know the shows characters. This, however, didn't seem to diminish his interest in treating me very sweetly during his visit. He seemed to respect the fact that I didn't have a television, like it gave me a badge of survival in his eyes.
He told me it had been a rough year. His father had died and his mother just couldn't stop crying. He had started going to church on Sunday's cause he said he figured if he "straightened out his life here, he might have a chance to see his pops later on in heaven". He had to stop attending night classes so that he could work more to help out the family. It was clear they had all really been affected by the loss of their Patriarch.
I was just finishing a book about
grief called "Life after Loss". It's a very important book for everyone because it explains the often confused perception of grief and mourning.Healthy humans don't only experience
grief when someone dies.
Grief can be heavy when you've moved to a new home, changed or lost your job, lost a pet, been betrayed by a friend, lost a dream, your finances, your security, the list goes on and on. This is a phenomenon we'd all do well to study for in our current economy, there's a lot of these losses going around. There is no set timing for someone to process a loss. We have to respect and support each individuals time to process, find healing and recovery.
I went to retrieve the book from my bag thinking it was meant for me to give this to Kevin, but I realized I had left it on my kitchen table that morning. As he was leaving, I gave him the name of the book and told him I thought it would be helpful for his mother. To this he replied thoughtfully, " I think it'll be good for me too. Thank you Miss. Thanks fir everything. I had a real nice time
witchu here
today and the things you told me sure helped a lot. Here is my cell number if you have any more problems with your phone line. I can be here from Jersey in less than 2 hours." Thanks Kevin. Take care.
My fax is still broken, but Kevin did leave me with a repaired line of hope and reopened some communication with my heart. Thanks Universe for the Verizon man Kevin
whe-
evah you ah out
deah on
da sho-ah.
The "love-line" skirt is hiding just under the down-feather coat!
Purchase the "Love-Line" Vivienne Tam skirt here
http://www.etsy.com/listing/68861447/love-line-skirt-vivienne-tam
